Sanity Savers #1: The Visual Timer

Two days ago I posted about why we stick to routine around here and that we have several sanity savers that help us stick to that routine.

Today: The Visual Timer

Transitions can make it look like my child is about to singlehandedly bring on the apocalypse. We learned this at a very young age - we learned it trying to leave public places, trying to come inside, and finishing, well, anything really. We also learned that developmentally, kids can't really understand the passage of time. When he was just two years old a therapist put us onto this visual timer. It's old school, you just wind it up to the amount of time you want to pass and kids can watch the red area shrink in size until it's gone and the clock beeps. It's AMAZING for helping him wait for something, for letting him know when we are going to change activities or move upstairs for bedtime. It also helps us be consistent as parents in following through. Rather than saying "five more minutes" roughly 20 times and escalating into a frustrated rage over why our kids don't understand us, we set it and stick to it.

Which is good for everyone, really.

Recently, bedtimes have gotten really hard again. We started using this timer to prevent the endless stalling and "one mores" that can leave a parent completely frazzled at a time of day when we often don't have much physical or emotional energy left. We set the timer and do all the things we love - read books, pray, sing, snuggle...but when that timer goes off, that's it. Bedtime is done. Kiss, hug and out the door. It hasn't solved everything, but it helps him know there is a limit and an end to that time together. (He is a MASTER staller. I promise we aren't cruel. But bedtime HAS to have an end or it gets ugly.)

Incidentally, if you need a laugh about putting little kids to bed, here's Jim Gaffigan. You're welcome.

The timer here is the one we have. It's lasted 3 years in a house where we play rough. It's called the Time Timer and I can't recommend it highly enough.

Stay tuned over the next week for more Sanity Savers.

The Time Timer 

Routine for Life: Intro to Sanity Savers

I know there are people in my life who find me too rigid, too controlled in how we do things around here. The never-mess-with-the-schedule, the strict bedtimes, the timers, the visual calendars, the social stories, the rigid diets.

And sometimes I believe them. That I'm too serious about all this or maybe if I just went with the flow, things would be fine.

They wouldn't, though. I know that.

And true confession right now: I love all the lists. The schedules. The clarity and boundaries in our day. I have always loved routine and order. Laminators and bins. Spreadsheets. Yes, I get tired sometimes and wish we COULD just stay in our jammies all day on a Saturday and just lay around and see what happens. But I know what would happen. We'd all pay for it dearly with a dysregulated, unhappy child.

It's just not worth it.

As we delve deeper into the diagnoses and the plans for how to best help our middle child thrive in a world that will soon see him as a threat, I am beginning to see that the significant quirks in my own crazy personality - the determination and stubbornness, the organization, the driving forces of passion and energy- are uniquely suited to what we are faced with. And while I continue to be my own worst critic, I have been working hard to see the good in myself. The ways that God has created me to be this mom to this child in this place and time.

This is pretty big for me, friends. I almost always only see the things I am doing wrong.

Right now, friends, our routine is life. And I am REALLY good at routine. At self-control. At doing what I'll say I do and following through with what my kids need.

And I know that I am not alone out there in fighting hard for my boy. In staying up late reading articles. In devouring books and talking to therapists and browsing the fun and function website and coming up with ALL THE PLANS.

Sometimes it's nice to come across a place where someone has already made some discoveries that might work for us, too, rather than starting from scratch.

So, while I'm no expert, we've been working hard for three years and if you have a child who might need a little extra help in life, I know sometimes you don't know about something until someone mentions it. And I firmly believe that the things we learn in life - the practical, the spiritual, the emotional, the physical - well, we're meant not to keep it to ourselves.

In that spirit, over the coming week, I thought I'd share our most favorite of sensory and routine supports in the hope that someone out there might need to know about it to support his or her little one in even the teensiest improved way.

Each day, I'll share one thing we do that I consider a Sanity Saver. And I will give credit where credit is do in how we found it.

And if it helps even one family, I'll consider it a win. Hope you enjoy!